Pee Song

https://soundcloud.com/shaffer-annette/pee-song

3.8.09

Urine Miracles

Urine Miracles
What else can I call the great and oft-times unexpected results of applying urine to my sore spots, but urine miracles? Over the 12 years I've been urine tippling I have also applied it topically (and in fact did so for one year prior to drinking it, which had a positive impact on my motivation to drink it) with excellent results. Below I will outline a few of my many urine miracle experiences:

Black nail bed: Applied urine compress for 2Hr. Later it throbbed, but in the morning the nail was apparently healed, no blackness apparent. As time wore on, a small crescent of black grew out from under the cuticle, to remind me of the miracle! I did not lose the nail as I had expected.

Herpes: Upon first warning of herpes outbreak, small pulse under the lip, applied urine by dabbing it on with q-tip. Herpes did not blossom! On herpes outbreak without warning (i.e. in sleep), reduced healing time to 3 days from usual 5-7. Herpes virus does not like urine. After drinking urine for three years, no more outbreaks!

Torn ligament: Applied urine compress wrapped with saran wrap overnight to torn ligament inside upper thigh. Next day, no pain!! Upon stretching felt signal; wrapped ligament with urine compress one more night. Next day, no pain at all! Doing TKD daily, only felt pain again six months later.

Leukemia: My mother was given a prescription for Ibuprofen and told it would only work for 3 years... doctors hate to tell you you're going to die in three years, but that's what they were saying. So I gave her the book, "Your Own Perfect Medicine" (which is widely available) and she thought, "It's better than dying." She is now in her 15th year of urine therapy and still going strong. She has also been diagnosed with Crohn's but manages the symptoms with urine. I began to drink it after she had reached the 18 month mark and remarked that although she had not dyed her hair in months and months, it had all grown in brown again!

Grey Hair: So, I may not be dying, but I am getting old. If my dear old ma's hair would come in brown, maybe mine would too! So far, I still seem to be greying. It might have been that my mother was now recycling the good nutrients she was already getting and so getting more of them in her, enough to brown up her hair, and in contrast, perhaps I am lacking certain nutrients that are not available due to perhaps even geographical conditions. Who knows!

Fingernails: Mom also mentioned that her fingernails were growing in more beautifully than ever before. Mine are now, too! I never had such lovely fingernails as I've enjoyed since drinking pee.

Skin Tone: In addition to "solar shining" that one will achieve after one year of imbibing pee, the skin benefits tremendously from a good pee facial. "I wash my face with dirty water" -- Seal, and so do I, daily, but in addition, the application of a compress to troublesome areas is better than botox!

Urine therapy has caused so many subtle positive changes over the many years I've been pee drinking that I take most of the miracles for granted now, but I have had some other experiences that I've attributed to my tippling I would like to share:

Quitting Smoking: "After 11 months of urine therapy one will be cleansed, both internally and externally." -- Veda (I didn't realize it would mean that I would be reamed until clean over the course of a week or so in the 11th month... it was gruelling but effective to be so ill that I couldn't possibly smoke for a few days. That's a good head start on quitting, I used it.)

Fire/Heat Resistance:
1. Big fire at the Camp in Wawa. I run to the blaze with a 5 gal bucket of water, symbolic at best in face of the immensity of the roaring flames, but I figure, I'll be first in the bucket brigade. As I cock the bucket a blast sends me 25 feet backwards, a wall of heat seeming to push me away (there was 100 gal of airplane fuel on site). I suffered only minor "goosebumps", small water blisters, over all the exposed areas of my flesh which disappeared within 48 hours.
2. I take my large glass pot out of the 425 degree oven, using oven gloves, take the gloves off and reach over to take the lid off and put it down on the stovetop, realizing that it was also still at around 425 degrees and it should have taken my palm off, but did not even burn me. This really should be higher up on the urine miracles list because it still seems impossible to me to this day.

Float-ability: I have an uncanny ability to float, so high in the water that even lifeguards ask how I'm doing it. The kids in Costa Rica were so amazed they came out to try it, but couldn't float like me. A guy on a surfboard floating alongside me was startled when I stood up and he realized that I wasn't on a board like he was! I say, "I float like a turd." Speaking of which...

Bowel Health: I was chronically constipated most of my life. Within a very short while of drinking pee I was pooping like a baby... effortlessly, softly and completely. I have enjoyed having an empty colin. I went for high colonic irrigation lately and the very experienced practioner remarked, "You are empty inside!" I have also mystified the radiologist administering an ultrasound. She reported that she had to turn down the contrast because, "You're so bright inside!" I've seen my colin and it is sinewy and smooth and only about an inch in diametre.

Fighting Colds: When the cold is in the throat, first felt, gargle with pee. Gargle and gargle, every time you pee, get the crap out of the throat. This method can be used to stop the cold dead.

I'm sure there are many more benefits I've enjoyed to drinking my pee, including feeling bigger than the culture at large (since I breached the taboo!) and I'll try to address them in a future post. Until then, cheers!